Question: My adult children are struggling to save enough for a deposit on a home, and we’d really like to help them get on the property ladder. We have some savings ourselves, but we’re also conscious that we need to protect our retirement and don’t want to leave ourselves short later in life. We’re not sure whether it would be better to give them money, lend it to them or help in another way.

What are the main options for parents who want to help? And how can we do it without putting our own future at risk?

Answer: It’s becoming increasingly common for parents to ask how they can help their adult children buy a home. Rising house prices, tighter lending rules and the cost of living have made saving a deposit far more challenging than it was a generation ago. Many parents want to give their children a leg up while protecting their own financial security.

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The good news is that there are several ways to help, and not all of them involve writing a cheque. The key is to support your children in a way that strengthens their future without weakening yours. Let’s break it down.

Start with your own finances

Many parents underestimate how much they will need in retirement. Once money is handed over, it’s difficult to get it back. So, the first rule is simple: your financial stability comes first.

Option 1 - a straightforward gift: the most common way parents help is by gifting money towards a deposit, but it must be done with care.

Under current rules, a child can receive up to €400,000 from a parent over their lifetime before Gift Tax applies. It’s still important to document the gift properly. Banks will require a ‘gift letter’ confirming that the money is not a loan and carries no repayment obligation.

The risk? Once the money is gone, it’s gone. If your circumstances change – illness, reduced income, or unexpected expenses – you cannot reclaim it. So only gift what you can comfortably afford.

Option 2 - a loan instead of a gift: some parents prefer to loan money rather than gift it. This can work well if you want:

  • The money repaid over time.
  • To treat children equally.
  • To protect the funds in case of relationship breakdown.

    • If you choose this route, put the loan in writing to avoid misunderstandings. You can decide whether interest applies and when repayments begin.

    The risk? If your child’s circumstances change, repayments may stop. So again, only loan what you can afford to lose.

    Option 3 - acting as a guarantor: some banks allow parents to act as guarantors for their children’s mortgage. This can help if the child’s income is strong, but their deposit is small.

    However, this option carries significant risk. If your child cannot meet repayments, the bank can pursue you. Your own assets, including your home, may be exposed. For most families, this is too heavy a burden.

    In general, I would advise caution. A guarantor arrangement should only be considered if your own financial position is extremely strong and the child’s income is secure.

    Option 4: live at home to save: this is one of the most underrated forms of support. Allowing your children to live at home for a year or two, rent-free or at a reduced cost, can dramatically accelerate their savings.

    It doesn’t affect your retirement funds, it avoids tax complications, and it teaches good financial habits. The key is to set clear expectations: how much they will save each month, how long they plan to stay and what the end goal is.

    Option 5: professional advice: not all help is financial. Many young adults struggle to navigate mortgages, savings plans, insurance and long-term budgeting. Encouraging them to meet a financial adviser or even attending with them, can be hugely valuable. Sometimes the best support is guidance, not money.

    Martin Glennon is head of financial planning at ifac.

    Protecting family harmony

    If you have more than one child, think about fairness. Helping one child with a deposit may create expectations among others. You don’t need to treat everyone identically, but you should treat them equitably. If you help one now, you might plan to help another later.

    Helping your children buy a home can be one of the most meaningful financial gifts you ever give. But it must be done from a position of strength. Your retirement, your security and your independence come first.

    In Short

    Before you consider helping, take a clear look at your own long-term needs. Ask yourself:

  • Do I have enough saved for retirement?
  • Are my own debts cleared?
  • Do I have an emergency fund?
  • Could I cope financially if I needed long term care later in life?

    • Martin Glennon is head of financial planning at ifac, the professional services firm for farming, food and agribusiness.