I jumped at an unusual sound. Pshoo! A foxglove bell drifted down onto the kitchen table. Pshoo! Another dropped. Silent in the din of everyday family life; it proved a loud sound in the dead of night. I was alone, making a jigsaw. My birthday had been a few days previously. Julie had surprised me with a 500-piece jigsaw of Ricky in his high chair. It was a well-lit colourful picture against the window onto the garden. I was having a really good therapy session making it. All those plants in the background were carefully placed and tended by me. I knew every twisted branch and glossy leaf, the flower colours and the soft contours of my grandson. You have to give a jigsaw full attention, which means clearing your mind of all the chaff.

They are majestic flowers when placed in a vase and they remain upright and colourful for days

Tim had arrived with a massive bunch of foxgloves from the fields a few days previously. They are majestic flowers when placed in a vase and they remain upright and colourful for days. They were starting to dry out a little; despite Tim refilling the vase with water regularly. Hence, the bells were beginning to tumble, which jolted me from my reverie. The farm is full of foxgloves this year.

There are plenty of them in the garden, too. I thin them out as they germinate to ensure good healthy flowers. I destroy as many as I let grow. I spotted some for sale on a trolley at the local supermarket for €4.99 each. There’s more value on them when you see them for sale! The scientific name is Digitalis, but a word of caution: they are toxic if ingested.

A surprise gathering

I had the loveliest of birthdays. Tim and I had taken another bunch of heifers to our heifer rearer in Kildare and returned with three bulls. On our way to the yard to unload the bulls, I noticed that our car had been moved to the yard, along with Colm and Elaine’s cars. I wondered what project they had underway.

I went in to hear them singing happy birthday. It was a really joyful but poignant moment

Returning to the house, I saw a barbecue lighting in the garage with a few balloons tied to it. I knew immediately that they were cooking for my birthday. I went in to hear them singing happy birthday. It was a really joyful but poignant moment. Julie and David, Diarmuid, Philip, Colm and my two soon-to-be daughters in law, Elaine and Aileen, were standing apart in a semi-circle with Ricky in the centre in his high chair. Thea from New Zealand, who lives with us, was there too.

Ordinarily, I would rush to hug them, and they me

All had little party hats on and the girls were made up and dressed up. It was lovely to see that touch of normality.

Ordinarily, I would rush to hug them, and they me. Instead we all hung back and apart. I almost burst into tears but was glad I didn’t. Instead, I hugged Ricky.

Can I really live like this for much longer? I guess we have to find other ways of showing we love and care for others.

Going the extra mile

There was a strong wind, which was why the barbecue was in the garage. After a while, Philip said: “Mom, you do know the barbecue is a present?” I didn’t. Nobody had said, and I’d assumed they’d borrowed it. They figured that we were going to have a quiet summer of family meals and the occasional small gathering. I haven’t had a barbecue for about 10 years.

As Philip tossed sausages and burgers on the barbecue and Colm, D and the girls uncovered fresh salads and tasty bites

I was thrilled. As Philip tossed sausages and burgers on the barbecue and Colm, D and the girls uncovered fresh salads and tasty bites, my eyes strayed outside to where we should be. The team had power hosed the patio and paths, painted the garden furniture and done a general tidy up. All in a day!

My heart almost burst. Being appreciated and shown how much you are loved takes thought and effort. I have spent the last week in that renewed bubble of affection. I am energised and happy and so grateful to them all for their efforts and willingness to go that extra mile to celebrate my birthday. I look forward to the day when I can hug them tightly again. Stay safe and stay sane!