My son Diarmuid strolled into the kitchen. “Mother, what day is it?” he asked. It’s strange how the days have blended into each other and life has become mundane. It was the weirdest Easter. So much so that I had forgotten to order the lamb. The menu is always a leg of lamb and I would have all the family for dinner. So my husband Tim was dispatched on Friday to our local SuperValu in Tower for provisions. He returned without lamb! He said he’d try the butchers in Ballincollig in the morning.

Sorry, we’ve no legs of lamb. They’re all sold out

While he was milking the cows I decided to ring and order ahead. “Sorry, we’ve no legs of lamb. They’re all sold out,” came the reply. I then rang Osbornes in Blarney, another local butcher in the other direction.

I was pleased to hear: “Yes, we have a leg of lamb.” I asked for a second one as I usually cook two. The boss, Brian, had to be called. I was assured that I was in luck and they did actually have just two left, at €38.50 each.

I’m still quite frightened to leave the farm

After milking, Tim set out for Blarney and came back with two beautiful legs of lamb. I’m still quite frightened to leave the farm and I am grateful when he goes to the trouble of getting food supplies. He also announced that he had an idea for the “Shine A Light” for all the people that had died of COVID-19 and our wonderful staff on the frontline.

We would bring the cars and farm vehicles to the top of the hill and turn on the headlights to show our appreciation. I was thrilled with his idea.

The big field lights up

After supper, Tim took up the loader and tractor. At 8.45pm, he set off in the jeep to marshal us as we arrived in the field. I loaded my grandson, baby Ricky, into my daughter Julie’s car. Diarmuid got in to watch over him. Son-in-law David brought his van. We also have a New Zealand girl, Thea, working on the farm and she would bring the Jimny. I brought the home car.

Tim organised us so that our lights were pointing north to Blarney, west to Tower and east to the city. Two vehicles pointed south to Springmount.

Katherine O'Leary's farm shines a light.

It is a townland straight across the valley where Donal and Mary O’Leary live with their family. Every light was on in their beautiful home.

Donal is Tim’s first cousin and that is the home where Tim’s father was reared. It was poignant and there was a solidarity with all the lights around the neighbourhood, and beyond, being lit.

Psychologists are telling us to cry about the situation

Each of us was in a vehicle with our own thoughts and fears. Looking at Tim’s grandfather’s home and knowing that his great, great grandson was asleep in Julie’s car was surreal.

Psychologists are telling us to cry about the situation. It is unprecedented and we really don’t know how to react. I thought about all the grandads and grandmas that are dying.

There are many bereaved families. They must grieve alone at this time in order to keep the rest of us safe.

I thought about my cousin Sheila, Breda’s daughter, Orlaith, Julie’s friends John and Cathal, my friend, Louise; all are doctors and nurses we know and cherish.

We were shining our lights for them and all the people on the front line to say a heartfelt thank you. I still couldn’t cry. I know I’m not alone in this state of unrelieved tension. It is hard to keep it all going. It is difficult to deal with the mundaneness. It is a trial to stay rational.

Scrumptious lamb

On Easter Sunday, I cooked the legs of lamb. They were scrumptious. I had only to carve one.

The other lay on the meat board oozing mouth-watering juices through crispy, delicious fat.

I felt miserable, but I plastered a smile on my face

We were only six. The other four; my sons Colm and Philip, and their partners, Elaine and Aileen, had to stay away. I hadn’t adjusted the quantity. I felt miserable, but I plastered a smile on my face. That’s what we must do.

As the curve seems to be flattening and there is a possibility that the peak has passed; we must allow ourselves to hope that we will begin to get back to some sort of normality soon.

We must still follow the guidelines. Continue to stay safe and stay away.