Irish Country Living’s personal pages, Getting in Touch, may need to up their game with SD, NS, GSOH seemingly no longer enough info to attract the perfect partner.

The promise of a new dating app is: “Swipe to find the perfect mate”, “breeding programme that is cumulative and permanent” and the clincher “improve performance and produce offspring which deliver”.

Too good to be true? Even included weight and fertility data!

Bordering on politically incorrect, I thought, but sure it’s promoted by VistaMilk’s Donagh Berry who says it “delivers economic, social, and environmental benefits”. None of that wokeness for Teagasc – good man, Berry!

To my disappointment, however, further investigation revealed the app is not for single farmers interested in extending the family line but ‘Tinder for Cows’; helping farmers match the right cow with the right bull. My dairy farmer friends assure me that although their pre-app performance was pretty good, with the app, satisfaction is guaranteed.