Two weeks ago, Irish Country Living braced itself for a panto. Sitting behind two rows of mustard-and-brown-clad brownies, while toddlers screamed from the balcony above, the panto itself opened in a way that can only be described as loud, and we wondered if we’d come out of this thing with our sanity intact. But five minutes in, we were high on panto glee.

Come’Ere is the village clown, Lola is the token panto dame, Tickles, the jester, thinks he’s a gesture and Fairy Sally is barking mad. Then there’s King Seymour who is that embarrassing dad.