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Dear Miriam,
My son recently came home for the weekend with his girlfriend. They have been going out since the start of the year, but because of COVID-19, this was only their second time staying at our family home. Naturally, I wanted to make sure that she was as comfortable as possible, tidying up getting the place ready. The weekend seemed to go well, but to cut a long story short, when it came time to leave, my son handed me back the towels and said there was no need to wash them, as she had brought her own! This is a first for me.
I can’t help but think that she must have thought that there was something wrong with the towels last time
Anytime I have stayed in somebody’s house (my son’s included) I have been more than happy to use the towels provided for me. I’m wondering why on earth somebody would bring their own when going to a family home?
I can’t help but think that she must have thought that there was something wrong with the towels last time, even though I know that I gave them the good guest ones that were freshly laundered etc. It feels like a judgement on my house-keeping skills!
Have you ever heard of something like this before Miriam? I’d appreciate your take on the matter.
Mayo Mother
Dear Mayo Mother,
Thank you for getting in touch. To be honest, this is a new one for me too! The only time I have ever brought my own towels from home was when I was renting a holiday home where they were not provided, or when I was going to hospital. They are awkward items to lug at the best of times. I think it’s a real treat to be presented with nice, fluffy guest towels when you visit somebody’s home.
It’s hard to know really and I understand why you would be mulling over it
Of course, there could be a few different reasons for this. Perhaps she did not want to put you to the trouble of the extra washing after their stay? Maybe she wears fake tan and was conscious of getting them streaky? Perhaps she has sensitive skin and can only use items washed in a certain detergent?
It’s hard to know really and I understand why you would be mulling over it. But I would say that at the end of the day, you know that those towels were perfectly laundered and ready to use, so it can’t be any reflection on you or your house-keeping. It’s her own “thing” really.
Maybe the best way to look at it is that next time they visit, it will be one less job to do before and after their stay. And there’s no harm in that either. I hope this is someway helpful.
A reader writes
Dear Miriam,
I am writing to you in relation to a letter that you published in Irish Country Living dated 12 September (“Moving on from a very difficult and upsetting time”.)
I would like that person to know that the same happened to my wife and I. We, like that woman’s husband, did not challenge the outcome and just got on with our lives. It was difficult at the start, but after a couple of years, it passes. This has happened so many times in the past in Ireland and I am sure it will happen many more times. You have given this lady good advice regarding her in-laws telling stories to anyone who will listen and also about blessings in disguise. Maybe life has something better in store for her and her husband and we hope it happens.
One question I would love to know is if this couple do not have a family and the other couple have, as sometimes parents are stuck in their old ways and want to keep the farm in the family generation.
I would also like to say I agree that something given without a good heart, we are better off without it. We wish these people all the best in the future.
Armagh Reader
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