There’s something annoying me for a while now and I’d like to get your take on it, if you don’t mind.
My good friend from college is getting married in a couple of weeks.
She was supposed to get married last year and has postponed the wedding a couple of times now due to the pandemic.
In the end, she’s decided just to go ahead with a smaller ceremony, and I haven’t been invited.
Some of our other friends from college have been invited, so I kind of don’t know why I wasn’t, really
Now, I know there can only be 50 guests, but I would consider her among my best friends. I was there for her each time she had to postpone the wedding and now I feel like it has been thrown back in my face. Some of our other friends from college have been invited, so I kind of don’t know why I wasn’t, really. Fifty people and I still didn’t make the cut.
Also, I feel the way she told me wasn’t very thoughtful either. She just sent out a generic text to everyone who had initially been invited to the wedding, saying they were going ahead and obviously had very limited numbers, so it was only going to be nearest and dearest attending.
The whole situation is really picking away at me
This, I think, is what’s annoying me most. She didn’t even have the decency to call me up and tell me I wasn’t invited. I actually don’t mind not being invited, but I’m disappointed she didn’t have enough respect to ring me.
The whole situation is really picking away at me. I feel like I need to clear the air and speak with her about it.
What do you think Miriam, should I clear the air or let it go?
Dear Fuming Friend.
Thank you very much for getting in touch. Weddings are yet another example of how the pandemic has affected our daily lives.
I am going to be frank with you on this topic. While I can understand your feelings, it is a natural reaction to be a bit put out or upset when you are left out of something like this, in this instance I think you are going to have to let it go.
I don’t think you not being invited means your friendship is any less than what it was or what you consider it to be
Your friend’s hands are completely tied with regard to how many people she can invite and there was always going to be people upset. Unfortunately that is you. But really, there is very little anyone can do about it.
I don’t think you not being invited means your friendship is any less than what it was or what you consider it to be. It is just a very difficult decision to have to make.
In relation to how she told you, again, I can see where you are coming from. But again, I feel your anger is misplaced. I don’t think you should take it too personally.
It isn’t an ideal situation for anyone, and while you have been hurt, it wasn’t out of malice
Of course it would have been nice to get a call personally, but she was probably under a lot of pressure with the decision.
I suppose what I am trying to get across here, is to try have a bit of empathy and see things from her perspective. It isn’t an ideal situation for anyone, and while you have been hurt, it wasn’t out of malice.
Try put the situation behind you and wish the couple well. I would be letting this one lie.
Wishing you all the best,