Both mothers and daughters must step up when it comes to having farm succession discussions, a UK expert has urged.

“I’ve had some wonderful daughters that are waving their arms, desperate to take over the family farm – have even given their children the family surname so the name continues, because that’s often a thing, but for some reason, the dads, and often the mums, think it’s too difficult,” she told the Women & Agriculture Conference 2025 last week.

In her experience, daughters can be told it’s too hard an industry, there’s not enough work in it, or even you should be with your children, Wildman said.

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Her advice to daughters who are not seen by their parents as the farm successor, but want to be, is to take action.

“It’s so frustrating. So I say to those girls, take your inheritance and bloody show them yourself. You don’t have to be given it, get out there and go in your own way, because sometimes inheriting something can come with a lot of baggage,” she said.

“If you’re waiting for inheritance, you can be waiting forever. If you really want to do it, go on and do it,” Wildman urged.

She called on the 500-plus women at the conference to look in the mirror and ask themselves: “Are you an enabler to your daughters and your next generation, or are you a blocker? It’s so emotional handing over the reins,” she conceded.

You don’t have to be given it, get out there and go in your own way, because sometimes inheriting something can come with a lot of baggage

“It is so emotional seeing your children become adults, and they may be different to you. They may do things differently, but do you trust and respect them to take it on?”

She warned against leaving succession conversations until very late in life.

“It’s a real proud thing to be able to sit our friends and our neighbours and say, we’ve had that conversation with our children. It was difficult. But do you know what? What a relief. We know what people want, and we can now step back and step out of the farm.

“How many of you are controlling the farmhouse and controlling things?” she asked the audience.

“It’s a difficult one to look inwardly, but I think we all have to take accountability.”