I’VE GOT GUTS,” proclaims the slogan on Michelle Forde’s T-shirt in bold, hot-pink capital letters. And there’s no disputing the spirit of the 34-year-old farmer’s daughter from Cork, who is an ambassador for Bowel & Cancer Research in the UK, having been diagnosed with stage-three rectal cancer in 2016.

Indeed, one of her aims is to shatter the silence around its symptoms, which she believes delays many people reporting to their GP as early as possible.

“There’s such a taboo about anything to do with the bowels,” she says. “I mean we all have bowel movements, but I think it stops people discussing it; and it stops people getting help.”

DIAGNOSIS

One of seven children raised on a beef farm outside Glanmire run by her parents, Michael and Veronica, Michelle works in the television industry in London, where she is a senior development producer with Beano Studios (best known for comic book characters including Dennis The Menace).

In fact, it was getting this job that indirectly led to her diagnosis in September 2016, after she received health insurance as part of her package.

“And I was almost like: ‘I don’t need that. I never go to the doctor,’” Michelle recalls thinking, until she came across a page in the information pack listing the symptoms of bowel cancer.

“Bleeding from the back passage, over-tiredness/an unusual tiredness, and going to the toilet a lot more than usual – and the penny kind of dropped with me,’” she explains. “I thought, ‘Oh, God, I’ve had all of those three in the last couple of months.’”

When she looks back now, Michelle can trace the start of the symptoms to almost 12 months previously, but had put them down to the stress of moving to London, working long hours and a busy social life.

“Instead of going to a GP – I think this was the biggest error I made – I thought: ‘Alright, I’m going on a health kick,’” she explains.

This time, however, she decided to call the number in the information pack, and was quickly scheduled for a colonoscopy with a consultant.

“As soon as he did the colonoscopy, I could see from his face, he was like: ‘There’s something there. This is serious,’” says Michelle, who was diagnosed with stage-three rectal cancer, with three local lymph nodes also affected.

Needless to say, the news came as a huge shock. “I rejected everything,” says Michelle. “The diagnosis, the doctors; and the fact that this had happened to me. I had no acceptance for it, and I literally got out of that building as fast as I could and I went back to work.”

Fortunately, as the reality of the situation began to sink in, Michelle had the support of her sister, Kelly, in London, but breaking the news to her family over Skype was extremely difficult.

“The shock and utter fear in their faces just made me break down, and then I went through a kind of grieving process, which was lots of crying and lots of sadness about what was happening,” she says.

“But I still held on to unacceptance for quite a long time. It’s taken me quite a long time to accept that this is where I am and what I’m going through: to be in it.”

TREATMENT

One of the things that Michelle found most difficult to deal with was the recommendation that treatment, followed by a colostomy, would give her the best chance of recovery. At the time, her priority was to try and preserve her bowel function, so she opted instead for 25 sessions of chemo-radiotherapy, followed by chemotherapy.

Unsurprisingly, this took a toll: towards the end of the radiotherapy, for example, she experienced an intense burning sensation in her pelvis, while during chemotherapy, she struggled with erratic bowel movements, which made it difficult to leave the house.

For a short time, she also developed very painful acid reflux that made it impossible to eat or drink and saw her weight plummet to seven and a half stone in a matter of days (she is 5’ 10” and normally weighs nine stone).

“Eating and drinking felt like literally I was taking shards of glass down my throat,” she recalls. “At that weight you just feel really unsafe and unstable, and it’s very scary when you’re used to being self-confident and strong.”

However, Michelle explains how the emotional impact was just as challenging, especially as she had always been an independent person who didn’t like asking for help. “I would have had the impression that: ‘I don’t need anyone, I can do this by myself’; and that’s just really not helpful. You need all the love you can get,” she explains.

“I was very lucky that I was seeing a therapist at the time, who was brilliant at navigating me through the journey, and she’s been working a lot on getting me to accept what’s happening and where I am and accepting the help and allowing what needs to happen, happen.”

ACCEPTANCE

Michelle also had wonderful support from her family, who took it in turns to come to London to care for her, and in April 2017, mid-way through chemotherapy, she received a huge boost when scans showed that there was no sign of the disease.

At this stage, she was offered surgery or a “watch and wait” approach, and opted for the latter, with scans every three months to monitor any activity.

Unfortunately, after six months, her cancer had returned, so now, Michelle is going through chemotherapy again, except this time with a view to having the operation afterwards, to remove the affected part of the lower bowel, as well as the surrounding lymph nodes.

While there might be an option to have “re-join” surgery, she is now accepting the possibility of a stoma. “I now realise that the best chance of this never coming back is to have the operation, and my priorities have changed,” she says.

“It gets scary when cancer comes back and you think: ‘Oh, my God, this could actually get very, very serious, I could actually die. Why was I so naïve to be worrying about looks or silly things like that?’

“And now if I have to have a stoma, I have a lot more acceptance about it, and instead of seeing it as a life-ruining experience, I now see it as something that could actually save my life and give me the best quality of life.”

So far, tests have shown that chemotherapy has killed 80% of the cancer cells in the affected area, and Michelle is hoping to have her surgery later this summer. With the support of her employers, she has been able to continue working from home, and on her good days she is able to enjoy meet-ups with friends, a walk in the park or a swim in her local pool.

However, she has also volunteered as an ambassador for Bowel & Cancer Research in the UK in an effort to raise awareness and encourage people to go to their GP if they suspect that they might have any symptoms.

“The important thing with bowel cancer is if it’s caught early, it’s so treatable. If mine was caught earlier, I would have had a lot less of a journey and a lot less of a traumatic experience,” she says.

“When something crops up, just go to the doctor and get it checked out. It won’t take you that long and it could save you a lot of trouble and hassle.

“We just tend to put things off and off and off – especially when it’s to do with ourselves – so show ourselves a little bit more love and compassion; the same as you would treat a friend.” CL

You can follow Michelle on Instagram @fordesisters

Learn your BCA – it could save your life!

While the majority of bowel cancer cases occur in people aged 50 plus, it can strike at a much younger age, so everyone needs to be aware of the signs and symptoms and know what BCA stands for:

B is for bleeding from the bottom. Always check after using the toilet.

C is for a change in your normal bowel habits that lasts for more than three weeks.

A is for abdominal pain, acute tiredness and/or a lump in your tummy.

If you experience any of these symptoms over three or more weeks, see your GP. Source: www.bowelcancerresearch.org