‘You put how much in the neighbour’s communion card?” I exclaimed over a cup of coffee with a friend recently.

“€100,” he said, with a hint of uncertainty in his voice. “We were going to go €50 but then we heard the Murphys up the road were putting in €150, so we said we better up the game. Ah sure, we had a great day out, we were wined and dined by the family all evening.”

And that, dear reader, is how an eight-year-old ends up with over a grand in cards on their communion day.

ADVERTISEMENT

We are right in the middle of communion and confirmation frenzy. Gardens have pops of neon colour as bouncy castles dot the rural landscape, pathways and kerbs are looking better than the day they were laid after a good power wash, and the sound of hairdryers punctuates the silence of Saturday mornings as hair is curled into place.

Ice cream vans

And then the party begins. Chocolate fountains, sweet trolleys, mobile recording units, DJs, ice cream vans – these items are being booked across the country as families look to host a day to remember. Mini-weddings they are now being dubbed – right in the middle of a cost-of-living crisis. Figures as high as €5,000 for the little one’s big day have been reported.

Not surprisingly, this has set the agenda for newspaper columns and the radio airwaves as the annual discussion of the sacraments takes hold. Sure, people love the sensationalist headlines highlighting the ‘madness’ and commercialism of it all. But the conversation is more nuanced than that and to give that linear viewpoint isn’t a fair reflection on parents where this communion or confirmation means a lot.

Not surprisingly, this has set the agenda for newspaper columns and the radio airwaves as the annual discussion of the sacraments takes hold

The reality in many rural schools and communities is that families want their children to make their communion for all the right reasons. Yes, throughout the year, pews are near-empty in churches on Sunday mornings – where 50 years ago they were jam-packed with families. We are a nation scarred by decades of systemic sexual abuse by clergy and the subsequent cover-ups. But although it looks different now, faith still has meaning for many and communion and confirmation are an important rite of passage.

Shopping local remains a priority. Mammies may be looking online to save money on cardigans and umbrellas, but they still buy the dress in the local boutique where nanas and sisters can be part of the excitement.

Family gathering

After mass, it’s back to the school for photos so children can enjoy time with their pals. And most then head off for a nice meal or back to the house for a family gathering. Neighbours will arrive with cake and a few sandwiches will be laid out in the evening. Bouncy castles may come as standard but to anyone I’ve spoken to, it’s a much more relaxed affair than the ‘hype’ that is often sensationalised.

There is no doubt that there is an element of pressure and ‘keeping up with the Joneses’ and we’ve always been a nation who enjoyed putting on a good spread. However, most families haven’t lost the run of themselves, despite the conversations on the morning chat shows. And a quick poll around the office found, €20 or €30 in a card is quite sufficient.