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Dear Miriam,
I’m sure you get more serious problems than this one, but I would be interested to hear your opinion all the same. My husband and I have been dairy farmers all of our lives. We care for our animals and for our land and do our best to produce a product that we can be proud of, while trying to make a living.
Our youngest daughter started university in Dublin in September and just after Christmas announced that she had decided to go vegan. I had heard on the radio about this “Veganuary” trend and thought she would soon get sick of it once the novelty had worn off. However, she seems to be sticking to her guns, meaning that I have to go off and buy almond milk and all the rest when she comes home for the weekend, as well as trying to think of things that I can cook that she will eat.
On top of that, the last time she was home she started to give us a lecture about what we should be eating/drinking. You can imagine how that went down with her father, considering the almond milk, etc, was purchased from the proceeds of our dairy income. Apart from that, I worry if she is getting all the nutrients she needs in her diet. I also find it hard to understand, especially when she comes from a dairy background. If she went vegetarian I could probably get my head around that, but vegan? It just doesn’t make sense to me. At the end of the day, I value a happy home and don’t want any unnecessary arguments. But at the same time I don’t want to be lectured. What’s the best way to handle this?
Munster Reader
Dear Munster Reader,
Thank you for your email. There has obviously been a lot of attention given to this topic in the media recently; now it appears that the debate has come to your own kitchen table. Of course, it is not lost on me that your daughter’s new diet is financed by the family farm income.
At the end of the day, however, I think that we are all entitled to make our own decisions when it comes to our own diet. That does not give us a license to lecture other people on what they should be eating though. I suppose in your house, this works both ways.
If your daughter has made her decision, for whatever reason, then it’s important to respect that – even if you don’t quite understand it. By the same token, however, I think it’s vital that your daughter returns the same respect for your family’s farming heritage and the commitment and care you show to your herd and to the farm, ie no more lectures.
With that particular peace treaty signed, it’s onto some practical housekeeping. You mention buying the almond milk, racking your brain for things to cook, etc. To be honest, I think that if your adult daughter has made a particular decision regarding her diet, it is equally important that she takes greater responsibility for catering for herself. This does not have to be a source of conflict, however. Whether we eat meat and dairy or not, we can all do with more fresh veg, fruit, etc, so it could be that you share the preparation of the family meals or that she contributes some side salads, recipes, etc, that will go just as well with either main meal.
Regarding nutrients, I do agree that it is important that your daughter gets appropriate advice on achieving a balanced diet. Perhaps she would benefit from an appointment with a qualified dietitian to make sure she gets the proper nutrition. She can visit www.indi.ie to find details of a local dietitian. I hope this is of some help.
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