Dear Miriam,
There’s something on my mind lately that I was hoping you could guide me on. I’m a lad in my late 20s and from a dairy farm. I work full-time and live a bit away from my home place, although I’d be back all the time to help out on the farm and for training.
To cut to the chase Miriam, I’m getting the farm and I always have been. I have older siblings, but none of them are even remotely interested.
Even though nothing in particular has been said of late, as Dad’s getting older I know it’s coming closer to the time
I did my Green Cert recently. My dad has always been very happy for me to do my own thing, to go to college and work off the farm.
Without anything major being put in place or a particular conversation, we all knew the plan was that I would come home and take over. Even though nothing in particular has been said of late, as Dad’s getting older I know it’s coming closer to the time.
The nearer it gets, the more and more panicked I am about the whole thing. For me, at my age, I’m not ready to settle down milking cows twice a day, start going steady with a girl, marry her and sin é. The whole thing makes me feel very claustrophobic.
Lots of my friends have gone over now recently and there are more going next year, but what can I do?
What I really want to do right now is move to Australia for a while and I don’t want to be tied down to coming back in a matter of months.
I want the opportunity to have no plan for a while. Lots of my friends have gone over now recently and there are more going next year, but what can I do? It would break my dad’s heart if I told him I wanted to move abroad. I’ve never so much as even hinted at it.
I feel guilty even thinking about letting him down
As well, I don’t want you to think he hasn’t been good to me, he has. He’s never put massive pressure on me with farming and I’ve always been interested. I feel guilty even thinking about letting him down. It’s not that I never want to go farming, but right now, I just want to do my own thing.
Please let me know what you think should do,
Liam
Dear Liam,
Thank you very much for getting in touch. Your problem of wanting to go away but not wanting to let your father down I am sure is weighing on you, but also I am sure many readers will have experienced something similar. So know you are not alone and that there are workable solutions.
You all need to sit down, lay the cards on the table and set out a clear succession plan
First things first: what jumps out at me from your letter is that you have not discussed this in any way with your father: not in particular about Australia or even about the farm in general. Everything is implied. You all need to sit down, lay the cards on the table and set out a clear succession plan.
I know it feels daunting now, but you will feel better to have gotten things off your chest.
You say your father has always been good to you and never put pressure
on you; you also outline that you have never suggested that you don’t want to take over straight away.
Although he probably isn’t expecting it, it sounds like your father will be able to see things from your perspective.
Maybe your father will be happy to stay on for a few years with some help
After all, I get the impression that
you aren’t ruling out farming, but right
now it’s just not what you want. Which is perfectly fine, you will figure things out in time.
When you all put your heads together, there are plenty of options. Maybe your father will be happy to stay on for a few years with some help or perhaps you could discuss a lease arrangement, which would give you even more time.
There are loads of succession resources available out there, including a series printed this year in Irish Country Living, which you can search for on www.farmersjournal.ie.
Just remember to be open and honest.
I wish you the very best in all your endeavours.
Read more
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My sister-in-law wants to melt down the ring that she inherited from my mother
Dear Miriam,
There’s something on my mind lately that I was hoping you could guide me on. I’m a lad in my late 20s and from a dairy farm. I work full-time and live a bit away from my home place, although I’d be back all the time to help out on the farm and for training.
To cut to the chase Miriam, I’m getting the farm and I always have been. I have older siblings, but none of them are even remotely interested.
Even though nothing in particular has been said of late, as Dad’s getting older I know it’s coming closer to the time
I did my Green Cert recently. My dad has always been very happy for me to do my own thing, to go to college and work off the farm.
Without anything major being put in place or a particular conversation, we all knew the plan was that I would come home and take over. Even though nothing in particular has been said of late, as Dad’s getting older I know it’s coming closer to the time.
The nearer it gets, the more and more panicked I am about the whole thing. For me, at my age, I’m not ready to settle down milking cows twice a day, start going steady with a girl, marry her and sin é. The whole thing makes me feel very claustrophobic.
Lots of my friends have gone over now recently and there are more going next year, but what can I do?
What I really want to do right now is move to Australia for a while and I don’t want to be tied down to coming back in a matter of months.
I want the opportunity to have no plan for a while. Lots of my friends have gone over now recently and there are more going next year, but what can I do? It would break my dad’s heart if I told him I wanted to move abroad. I’ve never so much as even hinted at it.
I feel guilty even thinking about letting him down
As well, I don’t want you to think he hasn’t been good to me, he has. He’s never put massive pressure on me with farming and I’ve always been interested. I feel guilty even thinking about letting him down. It’s not that I never want to go farming, but right now, I just want to do my own thing.
Please let me know what you think should do,
Liam
Dear Liam,
Thank you very much for getting in touch. Your problem of wanting to go away but not wanting to let your father down I am sure is weighing on you, but also I am sure many readers will have experienced something similar. So know you are not alone and that there are workable solutions.
You all need to sit down, lay the cards on the table and set out a clear succession plan
First things first: what jumps out at me from your letter is that you have not discussed this in any way with your father: not in particular about Australia or even about the farm in general. Everything is implied. You all need to sit down, lay the cards on the table and set out a clear succession plan.
I know it feels daunting now, but you will feel better to have gotten things off your chest.
You say your father has always been good to you and never put pressure
on you; you also outline that you have never suggested that you don’t want to take over straight away.
Although he probably isn’t expecting it, it sounds like your father will be able to see things from your perspective.
Maybe your father will be happy to stay on for a few years with some help
After all, I get the impression that
you aren’t ruling out farming, but right
now it’s just not what you want. Which is perfectly fine, you will figure things out in time.
When you all put your heads together, there are plenty of options. Maybe your father will be happy to stay on for a few years with some help or perhaps you could discuss a lease arrangement, which would give you even more time.
There are loads of succession resources available out there, including a series printed this year in Irish Country Living, which you can search for on www.farmersjournal.ie.
Just remember to be open and honest.
I wish you the very best in all your endeavours.
Read more
My elderly mother loves to holiday in the sun; but I find these trips stressful
My sister-in-law wants to melt down the ring that she inherited from my mother
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