The time to assess the tidiness of your kitchen is not when you are tired. It was almost 2am when we landed back in Cork and home from the Women & Agriculture Conference, only to be greeted by a kitchen table covered with ware, biscuits, cereal boxes, newspapers and documents. Luckily everyone was in bed and there was no place to direct my ire.

Four of us had travelled together to the conference, as we do every year. We dropped Trisha in Fermoy to go home to Waterford and Mary and Betty came all the way with me. They hauled in my paraphernalia and landed it on the kitchen floor.

I crept up to bed and in beside my sleeping husband. I fell asleep with memories of another great conference where women came together to learn, to appreciate life stories, to be entertained and to acclaim other women through the Women & Agriculture Awards. Sleep came easily and the following morning Diarmuid and I had the kitchen and living room tidied in 20 minutes. I was so glad that I didn’t have a moan. Tim, Philip and Colm had been up most of the night sitting with Tim’s uncle-in-law and next-door neighbour, Sean, who had died suddenly (RIP). They certainly had no time for the trivia of tidying up.

Importance of communication

Things always seem worse when we are tired. I thought of Dr Fergus Heffernan’s address at the conference. He had us all in stitches when he recounted family tales in an effort to get us to communicate better within the family. He urged us to be honest.

“‘How are you?’ can elicit a ‘grand’ or ‘fine’ when neither is the case,” he said. He described how we store things in our middle brain only to come out with them at an inappropriate time. He recounted the experience of the family holiday. At the appointed departure time, the wife is on the phone to her mother. The unsaid things are being lodged in the middle brain: “Why did you have to ring that wagon now?” and so on. Then when a delay is encountered on the road, it comes out: “If you hadn’t rung your mother …” We achieve nothing by ranting, especially before we know the full story.

DOWN TO BUSINESS

Fiona Muldoon, the new CEO of FBD, addressed us as the main sponsor of the event. She saluted women who are farming, telling the audience that women are good at team work and hold many roles on the farm and are role models both in their families and in our communities. She thanked farm families for their continued support of FBD. Her sincerity and connection with the audience was real. She is proof that any woman can make it in a male-dominated field if she puts her mind to it and is up to the cut. She set the tone of excellence for the day.

I really enjoyed judging the Women & Agriculture Awards with Carolyn O’Hara and Orla Murphy from FBD and Mary Lyons from Teagasc. It is not easy to strip back your business, discuss your plans and admit worries, vulnerabilities and triumphs to perfect strangers, but it has to be done to prove you are deserving of an award.

Nuala Hourihane was crowned with the lifetime achievement award having given over 40 years’ service to the Irish Charolais Society. A visit to Ennis Mart, through a live link, saw 400 men and women gathered to honour Nuala.

The winner in the on-farm innovation section was Margaret Farrelly of Clonarn Clover and Joanne Buckley from Banteer, Co Cork was the runner-up. Sabine Rosler of Wells House and Gardens in Co Wexford was the agri-business innovation winner with Rebecca Allen of Tinahely Farm Shop in Co Wicklow the runner-up.

Along with five other finalists, these women impressed us immensely. I have no doubt that they will be making headlines in the future.

Speaking from the heart, Margaret Farrelly said: “I love who we are and what we’re doing. I now have the confidence to do whatever it takes.”

That for me is a sound motto for any of us farmers and expresses the satisfaction that can be earned when farming in beautiful rural Ireland.

Majella O’Donnell was our keynote speaker and she had similar thoughts: “Believe in yourself as you are. Do what you love and love what you do.”

That is not always easy if you suffer from depression. Majella said: “There is nothing more depressing than having it all and still feeling sad.”

Diane Banville and Maura Canning focused our minds on farm safety with Diane taking us through the tragedy of losing her husband Kevin after only 11 months of marriage. Evelyn O’Rourke gave us a candid and witty account of having cancer treatment while pregnant with her second child. Sometimes anything is possible.

Proud mother

My own beautiful daughter, Julie, wowed the 660 women with her life story. I have often written about Julie, her disability and the full and varied life that she leads. We present together in the world of special education related issues. I was humbled to hear her tell the crowd that she had not encountered adversity in her life. Pain yes, but not adversity. I know she inspired a lot of women even though she hates the tag inspirational. Still, her success is the result of levelling the playing field through education and getting on with life in spite of her challenges. I admire her every day.

After the eighth Women & Agriculture Conference, I hope those present feel energised to face the challenges of the world. I certainly do.