We have had an interesting reaction to a recent letter, “Should I ask my wife to give up her drama group?”, which was published in the edition of 23 March.

Here, two of our readers – who combine the demands of farming and family life with treading the boards – share their advice.

‘The farmer and his wife need to communicate and come up with a solution’

Dear Miriam,

I’m just after reading your column (which I do every week) and couldn’t contain myself laughing regarding the letter, “Should I ask my wife to give up her drama group”. I just had to read it to my wife, and got some fun from it. I think your advice was spot on.

You see, what’s amusing is that I’m a dairy farmer and am involved in drama myself. Added to that, my wife works up the country, a three hours’ drive away, so due to the commute she stays there for half the week and home the rest.

I believe in adequate down time and while I have expanded in cows over the years, l know my limits and preach quality and efficiency before quantity

My point is that we manage because we are organised. I’m also busy at this time of year and people think I’m mad to be involved with a drama group as well, but we must have a relief valve, whatever it is that floats our boat.

I believe in adequate down time and while I have expanded in cows over the years, l know my limits and preach quality and efficiency before quantity. Of course, we can’t put our arms around the world, so my wife is currently looking into a cleaning lady to keep the house in order – and let’s face it, if we can’t afford those few bob then what’s life about?

What my fellow farmer doesn’t state is what’s the story with his farm business. Has he expanded/taken on too much? Is he organised/efficient? Sometimes less is more. I think this whole dairy expansion is going out of control. Nobody asked the question in the lead-up: “Who’s going to milk all these extra cows?”

So in summary, the farmer and his wife need to communicate and evaluate all aspects of their lives and come up with a solution that keeps everyone happy!

Regular Reader

‘Drama is a great hobby…the advantages far outweigh any negatives’

Dear Miriam,

In response to the giving up of drama, I would like to put in my “spake”.

My husband and I are dairy farmers and have been involved in amateur drama for the past 20 years and would like to suggest to your reader that, going forward, his wife’s involvement won’t be as time consuming as it is at present.

I know the first year on stage is daunting and his wife is probably putting herself under a bit of pressure to deliver, but it does become easier and second nature after a while

She will be learning each year and getting more confident; lines become easier to learn, in a sense it becomes more natural and depending on the play picked she is not guaranteed a part, eg if there is a strong male cast.

I know the first year on stage is daunting and his wife is probably putting herself under a bit of pressure to deliver, but it does become easier and second nature after a while.

When our children were young, they spent time back stage while rehearsals were on. Each of them has acted and takes no notice of getting up and doing something in front of a crowd as they have always seen us do it. They see it as “normal”.

Maybe if he was to get involved as well? Groups are always looking for sets to be made up, sound and lighting, and who knows, he might catch the bug?

Drama is a great hobby, the winter passes so quickly, one makes new friends and the advantages of getting involved far outweigh any negatives.

Please feel free to forward this email to the reader in question.

Kind regards,

Dairy farmer

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