I try to keep an open mind on the worth of social media but it’s getting harder and harder to be convinced that it has any value except to hype things out of proportion.

I won’t deny that it is a medium for exchanging information and spreading the word quickly. But one can ignore good manners. You can say almost anything on social media. People often shoot from the hip without thinking. I feel that if one had the time to pause, the reaction might not be so cutting. I find myself often punching out a tweet or a Facebook post only to scrub it out again. Maybe I’m just old fashioned!

Yet, sadly, it may be the only avenue available to young women who may be sexually harassed in the workplace to speak out with some form of anonymity. It might give them enough confidence to then challenge the issue directly by reporting to their human resource departments or to the relevant authorities. Still, I’m not convinced that women who have been abused are being served well with the enormous focus on sexual harassment currently across all media.

Rape and sexual abuse are terrible crimes. Sexual harassment, while awful, is different. We must not confuse them. In both cases, the victims should be the main focus. Women and vulnerable people should be able to feel safe to carry out their work without threat of harassment. Because of physical strength, women will always feel more vulnerable. Every effort must be made to negate that fact of life by cultivating a society where reporting is the norm and the use of the word “no” comes easily to women.

PERSONAL SPACE

We must be careful not to muddy the waters with a focus on behaviour that may not be pleasant if one is on the receiving end, rather than on real abuse.

If someone is attracted to a man, an advance with a promise of intent may be welcome. I believe we have lost all sense of balance. Have all men suddenly turned into unsavoury beings who continually prey on women? I don’t think so. It must be difficult for good, decent men who are our fathers, husbands, sons and friends to feel the wrath of society against them.

Even as a woman, I find myself holding back. I tend to be a touchy-feely type of person and now I’m guarded. In company, I’m super conscious of that tangible personal space, recognising that it is different for every person and situation.

Maybe it’s no longer okay to give a spontaneous hug. I can’t imagine what men must be feeling if I feel like this.

DUE PROCESS

I recognise that our society must change to allow all women and, in particular, young women to flourish. Nevertheless, care must be taken, too, not to have people ready to pounce on twitter the minute something happens.

Once those buttons are pressed, they cannot be undone. Taking away a person’s good name is a very serious move. Over the last few weeks, every time I pick up the phone or the newspaper, turn on the radio or the TV, there is an article about the sexual harassment of women by men. New stories are hitting the headlines every day. Are we to believe all these stories without due process? Trial by media is very dangerous but also unfair to people who may be innocent. Where has innocent until proven guilty gone?

We are watching with horror the fall of Hollywood icons. Actors we may have admired heretofore will never be viewed in the same way again. If they are guilty, then it’s what they deserve! Real predators deserve to be vilified. The grooming of young girls or boys for sexual gratification is terrifying. But not all men deserve to be put into that category.

Predators have always existed and will continue to do so. It is important to cultivate an open policy of talking about these things in the home in order to protect the vulnerable child.

My daughter Julie also writes in the Evening Echo and last week she addressed this topic. In it she had a beautiful sentence that resonated with me: “I was raised in a house full of respectful boys and men.” It got me thinking. I was also raised in a house of respectful boys and men. I have lived with a houseful of respectful boys and men all my life. This is the case for very many women, young and old.

The agricultural world is full of men and I have been around them all my life. I have always been treated with the utmost respect. Yet there were times when I was growing up that I was frightened. But I had my parents to talk to and to guide me. It is hugely important that we give young people that freedom to talk openly about their experiences. Sexual targeting or harassment thrives in a climate of secrecy. It is essential that people feel able to say no with confidence. Any unwanted sexual harassment in the workplace should be highlighted.

I’m sad that so many women have been through tough times. It is good that they finally feel free to speak. Rape and sexual abuse must be reported to the correct authorities. I encourage women to speak out and to trust your instincts. If it doesn’t feel right, it probably is not right. I was always taught to think before I speak. I passed it on to my children. I guess it is now time for me to think before tweeting or posting. CL