On Tuesday, which was Farm Safety Awareness Day, we asked our readers for tips on safe farming. The following response might best be classified as sardonic, or cynical. It’s hardly advice to follow, but it is funny.

Against that, anyone who bought a significant volume of Glanbia shares five years ago is looking at an 800% profit. Nevertheless, be amused, but not advised, please:

“Sell the farm and stock. Buy Glanbia plc shares at the all-time record price of €19.45. Sit on a high stool for the next two years and watch your investment grow and grow as milk price tanks and Glanbia Co-op continually spin out until the Co-op holds circa 15% by the end of 2017.

“1st Jan 2018 (Glanbia plc share price) = €42.68.

“Then, buy a big dairy farm that went to the wall and employ a young lad to slave away in the pit and watch as demand drives milk to 40c/litre in 2019.

“Safe as a house.”

The interesting thing is that this suggestion came from within the Irish Farm Centre. More than that, I’m not saying. There were a lot of excellent practical suggestions posted as well; check them out on page 14, and on www.farmersjournal.ie.