It was 8.30am last Wednesday morning. The stage was set, sound check completed and soft purple lighting illuminated the conference room of the Lyrath Hotel. I looked at a sea of empty seats ready to be filled with 600 Irish Country Living readers – Women & Agriculture day had arrived. And after months of careful planning and hard work, it was time to enjoy it.

What’s interesting is no matter how much we carefully plan, the conversation takes on its own life and one talking point kept popping up-the power of listening. There was an extremely interesting panel discussion on conflict resolution led by Janine Kennedy. Whether it’s the transfer of the farm or the future of the family home, succession planning isn’t an easy conversation.

“Everybody wants their voice to be heard,” said psychotherapist Claire Lyons Forde. “But there is great power in actively listening. By understanding the other person’s viewpoint, it can lead to a more successful resolution.”

Setting the clock is a powerful strategy. “Get a stopwatch and allow everyone 10 minutes to say their piece. No one is allowed interrupt. This is effective in two ways. The person talking gets the time and space to get their thoughts across. They feel their views are being heard, rather than being shouted down. This is especially effective if you have two people with different personalities, one who may be quiet by nature: the other more vocal. It also means the other person is forced to listen, to really see the other person’s point of view. Everybody gets their uninterrupted 10 minutes so it’s a balanced approach.” Wisely, she advised, “You may need an impartial person to watch the clock and ensure everyone’s time is respected.”

The event also gave me the opportunity to really listen to our readers. Over lunch, one reader shared her own hurt many years later about how her voice wasn’t heard when the future of the family farm was being determined.

Brendan Courtney spoke candidly about his own family’s recent conversations about his mother going into a nursing home and the future of the family home. Laughing he said, perhaps himself and his siblings didn’t always have the right approach. “Oh, some of it played out in the family whatsapp group, probably not the best place,” he admitted. “And then someone had the cheek to leave the group. Well, they were hauled back in fairly lively,” he said, to howls of laughter. “But we are in a better place now, we have listened to each other, and we need to move forward.”

The event also gave me the opportunity to really listen to our readers. Over lunch, one reader shared her own hurt many years later about how her voice wasn’t heard when the future of the family farm was being determined.

Another spoke about how candid our chairperson Katherine O’Leary was about her cancer journey. In her opening speech, Katherine bravely announced she was wearing a wig, she didn’t want everyone questioning it all day. “Best to be honest,” she said. This touched a chord with our reader who with a firm nod of her head, admitted she needed to get more honest about her own journey.

At the end of the day, a woman with tears in her eyes, told me how grateful she was that Síle Seoige spoke so openly about her miscarriages. Her own daughter had been on a similar journey and she was heartbroken. I listened, we chatted, the power of conversation at this conference never ceases to amaze me.

Thank you so much to the speakers and the team in Irish Country Living and the Irish Farmers Journal whose hard work made the day a success. But most of all, thanks to every one of our readers who travelled to the conference, who warmly welcomed me to the role of editor and who engaged and ultimately, made the day a success. You make all those months of hard work worth it.