Patrick Donohoe
On 19 September 2003, I was a slip of 17-year-old with a dodgy Nissan Almera and an even dodgier driving ability. However, due to Longford’s then lax approach to the driving test, I passed.
Shortly before I embarked on the journey into town to sit the test, complete with my lucky New Zealand rugby jersey, my mother instilled into me a piece of immortal advice: “Remember, both your brothers passed first time so you should too.”
Confidence at a high.
Strangely, and luckily, I did indeed pass. As I greeted my mother at the door upon my return with a sweaty yet relieved brow, she gave a slightly more helpful piece of advice: “’Tis yours now, nobody can take it away from you, only yourself.”
This was my first thought when I agreed to resit my test some 11 years later, for Irish Country Living. Once I knew I could not lose it, I was all for it. What could go wrong?
I approached the test with a resignation of defeat, sure the pessimist is never disappointed. I left the theory books, the driving tutorials and the All Blacks regalia back in the early noughties, I wanted to see how many bad habits I had accumulated in the decade or so. The answer was a few actually, 10 to be precise.
“You don’t like cyclists, do you?” Frank O’Neill, the wonderfully accommodating tester from Always Alert Driving School, said to me as we pulled back into the Irish Farm Centre.
“No,” I retorted, “there weren’t many of them let around the place in Longford when I was doing the test and we’ve kept it that way,” I said hoping for a chuckle and an X scribbled off a misdemeanour.
“You’re not a bad driver and you probably would have passed if you had gotten a few lessons, but unfortunately this wasn’t your one,” Frank said when I had signalled and manoeuvred for the last time into a parking spot. Strangely, and unexpectedly, my pride crumbled.
A would-be driver is permitted to make eight minor mistakes, I made 10. These were: approaching speed bumps with too much vigour, not once, not twice, but three times. I was too close to cyclists on three occasions, I got a little too close and personal with the car in front of me twice and there was a couple of other marks against me for not being “observant” enough.
Despite my mother’s advice before I sat my test 11 years ago still ringing in my ear, I think the operation was useful. Bad habits accumulate over the years and a little refresher to bring everyone down to earth certainly would do no harm.
I should’ve worn the New Zealand jersey though.
Here’s to the next Irish Country Living driving test article in 2025.
Aisling Hussey
"Will they take the licence off you?” That was the initial reaction of my friends and family when I told them I was going to take the driving test again.
It pains me to admit that I embody the female driver stereotype, but I’m all for the nurture over nature argument. In other words, I blame my parents.
Learning was an ordeal mainly because they were terrified of teaching me and their nerves rubbed off. I remember begging my dad (who is normally very chilled out) to sit in the car, and after a few hours of badgering, he’d reluctantly agree and tensely strap himself into the passenger seat. These excursions would usually end in an argument and a silent drive home. My younger sister Rachel, who thoroughly enjoyed witnessing my ineptitude, would usually come along for the spin and point out that she’d make a great driver. Annoyingly, she ended up passing on her first go earlier this year.
In what I thought was a genius move, I booked my first test on the day before Christmas Eve in 2010, as I thought the tester would be full of festive joy and morally obligated to pass me. Unfortunately, it was cancelled due to bad weather and I had to take my test in January and failed miserably – the lowlight was driving down a one-way street in the wrong direction.
The second time around, I made sure the test coincided with my 21st – just over three years ago. Who would fail someone on a landmark birthday? Along with a drop of Rescue Remedy, my desperate tactic paid off the second time round and I barely passed. I think it’s my proudest achievement. I should have left it at that. Why did I think taking the test again was a good idea?
Frank, the tester, couldn’t have made it easier. The route he took me on was my drive home and yet I managed to fail. And it wasn’t by a point or two – I accumulated 30 grade-two faults, well over the limit of nine, failing in five different ways, from steering to stopping. As for cycle lanes, well thank God there weren’t any cyclists on the road at the time. The worst thing is that I thought I had done a great job.
“You have a lot of bad habits, but I didn’t feel unsafe in the car with you,” said Frank carefully, once the car was safely back at the Farm Centre. Cold comfort when you’ve failed the test for a second time. He added that if I was a learner I’d need a few lessons before I’d pass. My main offence was letting the steering wheel spin, but who doesn’t do that?
I’m not making excuses, but many of us wouldn’t pass the test if we had to do it again. A study in Britain showed that four out of five drivers wouldn’t make the cut. But it goes to show that we could all use a bit of fine-tuning. As for female drivers, statistics show that women are usually far more cautious than men on the road. I was just a bad representative for the sex. At least no one will be asking me for a lift anytime soon.
Test facts
• In 2013, the average pass rate was 52%. This varied from 42% to 69% across the country. • 133,250 tests were carried out last year.• The pass rate among men is 55%, compared with 48% for women. Top driving
test mistakes
• Poor observation. • Failure to anticipate the actions of other drivers.• Incorrect road position. • Poor use of mirrors and signals.• Non-compliance with traffic controls, eg road signs and traffic lights.• Incorrect use of vehicle controls.• Driving over speed limit.• Failure to yield the right of way to others.• Lack of competence in the reverse and turnabout manoeuvres.
Patrick Donohoe
On 19 September 2003, I was a slip of 17-year-old with a dodgy Nissan Almera and an even dodgier driving ability. However, due to Longford’s then lax approach to the driving test, I passed.
Shortly before I embarked on the journey into town to sit the test, complete with my lucky New Zealand rugby jersey, my mother instilled into me a piece of immortal advice: “Remember, both your brothers passed first time so you should too.”
Confidence at a high.
Strangely, and luckily, I did indeed pass. As I greeted my mother at the door upon my return with a sweaty yet relieved brow, she gave a slightly more helpful piece of advice: “’Tis yours now, nobody can take it away from you, only yourself.”
This was my first thought when I agreed to resit my test some 11 years later, for Irish Country Living. Once I knew I could not lose it, I was all for it. What could go wrong?
I approached the test with a resignation of defeat, sure the pessimist is never disappointed. I left the theory books, the driving tutorials and the All Blacks regalia back in the early noughties, I wanted to see how many bad habits I had accumulated in the decade or so. The answer was a few actually, 10 to be precise.
“You don’t like cyclists, do you?” Frank O’Neill, the wonderfully accommodating tester from Always Alert Driving School, said to me as we pulled back into the Irish Farm Centre.
“No,” I retorted, “there weren’t many of them let around the place in Longford when I was doing the test and we’ve kept it that way,” I said hoping for a chuckle and an X scribbled off a misdemeanour.
“You’re not a bad driver and you probably would have passed if you had gotten a few lessons, but unfortunately this wasn’t your one,” Frank said when I had signalled and manoeuvred for the last time into a parking spot. Strangely, and unexpectedly, my pride crumbled.
A would-be driver is permitted to make eight minor mistakes, I made 10. These were: approaching speed bumps with too much vigour, not once, not twice, but three times. I was too close to cyclists on three occasions, I got a little too close and personal with the car in front of me twice and there was a couple of other marks against me for not being “observant” enough.
Despite my mother’s advice before I sat my test 11 years ago still ringing in my ear, I think the operation was useful. Bad habits accumulate over the years and a little refresher to bring everyone down to earth certainly would do no harm.
I should’ve worn the New Zealand jersey though.
Here’s to the next Irish Country Living driving test article in 2025.
Aisling Hussey
"Will they take the licence off you?” That was the initial reaction of my friends and family when I told them I was going to take the driving test again.
It pains me to admit that I embody the female driver stereotype, but I’m all for the nurture over nature argument. In other words, I blame my parents.
Learning was an ordeal mainly because they were terrified of teaching me and their nerves rubbed off. I remember begging my dad (who is normally very chilled out) to sit in the car, and after a few hours of badgering, he’d reluctantly agree and tensely strap himself into the passenger seat. These excursions would usually end in an argument and a silent drive home. My younger sister Rachel, who thoroughly enjoyed witnessing my ineptitude, would usually come along for the spin and point out that she’d make a great driver. Annoyingly, she ended up passing on her first go earlier this year.
In what I thought was a genius move, I booked my first test on the day before Christmas Eve in 2010, as I thought the tester would be full of festive joy and morally obligated to pass me. Unfortunately, it was cancelled due to bad weather and I had to take my test in January and failed miserably – the lowlight was driving down a one-way street in the wrong direction.
The second time around, I made sure the test coincided with my 21st – just over three years ago. Who would fail someone on a landmark birthday? Along with a drop of Rescue Remedy, my desperate tactic paid off the second time round and I barely passed. I think it’s my proudest achievement. I should have left it at that. Why did I think taking the test again was a good idea?
Frank, the tester, couldn’t have made it easier. The route he took me on was my drive home and yet I managed to fail. And it wasn’t by a point or two – I accumulated 30 grade-two faults, well over the limit of nine, failing in five different ways, from steering to stopping. As for cycle lanes, well thank God there weren’t any cyclists on the road at the time. The worst thing is that I thought I had done a great job.
“You have a lot of bad habits, but I didn’t feel unsafe in the car with you,” said Frank carefully, once the car was safely back at the Farm Centre. Cold comfort when you’ve failed the test for a second time. He added that if I was a learner I’d need a few lessons before I’d pass. My main offence was letting the steering wheel spin, but who doesn’t do that?
I’m not making excuses, but many of us wouldn’t pass the test if we had to do it again. A study in Britain showed that four out of five drivers wouldn’t make the cut. But it goes to show that we could all use a bit of fine-tuning. As for female drivers, statistics show that women are usually far more cautious than men on the road. I was just a bad representative for the sex. At least no one will be asking me for a lift anytime soon.
Test facts
• In 2013, the average pass rate was 52%. This varied from 42% to 69% across the country. • 133,250 tests were carried out last year.• The pass rate among men is 55%, compared with 48% for women. Top driving
test mistakes
• Poor observation. • Failure to anticipate the actions of other drivers.• Incorrect road position. • Poor use of mirrors and signals.• Non-compliance with traffic controls, eg road signs and traffic lights.• Incorrect use of vehicle controls.• Driving over speed limit.• Failure to yield the right of way to others.• Lack of competence in the reverse and turnabout manoeuvres. 
This is a subscriber-only article
SHARING OPTIONS: