As I’ve admitted in the past, strange things keep The Dealer awake at night – like, how do snowplough drivers get to work?
Another such conundrum that has befuddled your sleep-deprived scribe is how vegans can claim to be saving the planet when their dietary preferences fill them with hot air.
Yes, readers, move well back the next time you hear your neighbour in the restaurant ask for the vegan option, because there is every chance of the diner being hit by a southerly gale.
Now, this is not a case of The Dealer having a pop (no balloon puns intended) at our veggie brothers and sisters.
Rather, I am repeating the observations of accepted experts on these matters, such as Dr Sandro Demaio the chief executive of VicHealth in Australia.
Dr Demaio described the increase in flatulence after going vegan as “normal”. It’s the increase in fibre, by all accounts.
Returning to climate change, however; should the vegan tide continue to gather pace, will governments be required to log this increased flatulence in their national inventories – and how could you even measure it?
Oh my God, I can feel another blast of sleepless nights coming on.