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It’s a new year and I should be making new year’s resolutions but I’m not. I had toyed with the idea of seriously reducing or eliminating my carbohydrate intake (chiefly, bread and potato) because I was with a dietician in December who thought I should.
It’s not that I’m fat but I’m thriving well. If I was a bullock, you’d be pleased with me.
I’d prefer to be a bit portly and fresh-faced rather than worn and haggard-looking
If I lost weight there’d be a danger that I’d turn into a miserable-looking screw. Weight loss ages you.
I’d prefer to be a bit portly and fresh-faced rather than worn and haggard-looking, contrary and hungry.
As the Snickers ad says, you’re not you when you’re hungry. Farmers traditionally look portly and smiley.
Eliminating carbs? Nah
“Eat loads of protein,” the lovely dietician said and I agreed at the time, chiefly because she was attractive and I was sort of spellbound.
That’s the easy bit – eating more protein – as I love meat and fish and cheese, but eliminating carbs? Nah.
In truth, I love all food and I’ve come to the conclusion that life is too short to live without bread, potatoes and pasta.
Besides, I can’t be going around hungry when there is plenty of food to eat. I’m grateful for living in a land of plenty.
I heard of a vegan recently who wouldn’t take a lift in a car with leather seats
Equally, there’s enough food already being wasted nationally without me adding to it.
Though I bet it’s the vegans who are wasting all this food with their fussy diets.
I heard of a vegan recently who wouldn’t take a lift in a car with leather seats. She was only being offered a seat, for goodness sake. She wasn’t being asked to eat the bl**dy seat.
However, I am reducing sugars and a lovely cool Coca-Cola and Snickers is now a treat. It’s sad – I know. But I don’t want to become a diabetic Michelin man.
Combines 4 Charity
Combines 4 Charity is having its 10-year anniversary draw next Saturday, 11 January. There are super prizes on offer, with a total prize fund of over €100,000.
The first prize is a VW Amarok, in which any portly farmer would look good. But nice and all as the VW is – I’d prefer a Japanese tractor.
With Mazdas and a Toyota jeep, I’m a total convert. But I’d draw a line at a Japanese tractor.
Third prize is a coveted John Deere Gator, worth €23,000. I’d even like this prize as it’d be mighty handy for spreading slug pellets and lashing out the drums of meal to the cattle.
I’d rather spend a week all-expenses-paid in Mountjoy jail
But if I win the seventh prize, I have a problem. I could even be violently sick.
For seventh prize is an all-expenses paid trip to the John Deere factory in Germany. I’d rather spend a week all-expenses-paid in Mountjoy jail, provided I was in a single-bed cell – I’d be nervous otherwise. On second thoughts, maybe I’d be better going to Germany.
Eighth prize would be fine. It’s an all-expenses paid trip to the Krone factory.
It’s food, it’s healthy stuff and not a spud to be had
That, I could live with. We don’t have anything Krone – but I’d be happy to drink the beer and eat schnitzels and pickled red cabbage. It’s food, it’s healthy stuff and not a spud to be had.
But, seriously, it’s a great draw and I really recommend it to you. All the profits go to charity.
Tickets are €50 each and you can buy them by ringing Tony Brady on 086-822 9620 and he’ll take your card details over the phone. It’s as easy as that.
If you win something, that’s great but either way, it all goes 100% to three worthy charities – Gary Kelly Cancer Support Centre, Barnardos and National Rehabilitation Hospital. Please do it now – you won’t miss €50 or €100 or even €200. Now I’m off to the dietician to be weighed.
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