The society hack

To be avoided at all costs. Your college experience will consist of 8am poster runs and working as an unpaid campaign manager, not to talk of all the petty political drama you’ll have to listen to. However, can be useful for free nightclub entry.

The sports scholarship

Could be anyone from an intercounty GAA star to representing Ireland in some random sport. This person is generally succeeding in all aspects of life and they’ll be in great shape due to being an elite athlete. Furthermore, commitment to their chosen sport means they won’t be out drinking and will often be up at the crack of dawn training, so they’ll be in the library when everyone else is still coming in from last night. It’s quite likely everyone you know will fancy them and you will be defined as the guy who lives with the guy who rows for Ireland.

The primary teacher

Much like nurses, they will spend a considerable amount of time moaning about placement (teaching practice) but merit their worth as a housemate thanks to their funny stories about the kids.

The architect

If they’re not working until all hours in the studio, they’re breaking into it. They wear really eclectic clothing and only hang around with other architects.

The ag head

May or may not keep a lamb in the hotpress.

The one with the boyfriend/girlfriend at home

Boring. Next!

The recluse

Doesn’t spend any time in the common areas. Eats and watches Netflix in their room – not to be seen for days.

The med head

Not the hardest working students in college despite what you may have expected. They’ve sat God knows how many Leaving Certs to get in here and now it’s party time.

The nurse

Generally a party animal whose greatest torment is placement and the negative effects of such on their social life.

The accountancy head

They’re on a mission to get into one of the “Big 4”, and all they talk about is milk rounds. They party hard every Thursday night in a bid to prove they’re not boring accountants. However, it’s calculated partying – these guys will always have a few quid in their back pocket. They don’t do a huge amount of hours in college but get the best jobs and everyone else is eternally bitter about it.

The party animal

One student we know had his bedroom turned into a living room by his housemate and had to sleep on the couch.

The couch surfer

You don’t know what he does or where he came from. You think he’s somebody’s friend but you’re not quite sure. He eats all the spare food and you can always rely on him to be around for drinks on a Thursday night. But does he even go to college?

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CAO special 2016