I heard those 2 Johnnies from Tipperary were doling out advice on how to leave a date that’s going badly. “Bailing” I believe is the term, but not the baling I know.

So instead of going to the toilet and not coming back it seems the young people now set up their calving sensors to send them a text that there’s a cow calving.

If the date is going badly, they’ll show the poor unsuspecting character beside them the text and say they have to leave.

If it’s going well, they’ll let her calve on her own. I’ve heard it all now. Maybe they should look to the back page of Irish Country Living instead.