Little doubt that dogs are our best friends

There can be little doubt that dogs are our best friends.

They can hear us think and watch and listen to our every move. We’ve had Jack Russells for many years, probably because I have a snappy Jack Russell temperament.

But they’re loyal and forgiving and love a bit of craic.

As it’s Christmas, I thought we’d have a little crazy fun and let Billy, who has a definite character within the family, have his view on the year that was and the madness that is Christmas. Over to you Billy…

Hi, I’m Billy and I’m the fat little Jack Russell who belongs to the Master.

I’m a Dub but I’m farmin’ mad. My mum said my dad was a dachshund from Finavara, Clare.

Then she changed her mind and said he was a street fighter from Kilmainham but she hadn’t a clue.

Pippa’s my sister but she’s a wee Orange dog from up north and Mrs P is her favourite person and Alison. But Pippa’s a skinny little bitch who loves doin’ girly things like fightin’ and killing mice.

I’m a bit afraid of her. She’s in charge of vermin control and I’m the security officer.

But the Pippa one has no interest in farmin’. All she wants to do is sleep in the Land Rover. It’s the only car we’re allowed into, ‘cos we wrecked the Hilux and Max said it’d be only fit for export to Africa.

We love a spin to Ballivor and Alfco and collectin’ Alison from the bus.

I just love farmin’ and the combine is my favourite ‘cos it has a buddy seat and that’s mine.

There’s none in the Bateman but I do lots of spraying but not this year ‘cos the Master said the crops were so sh**e they weren’t worth spraying. Some were hardly worth combining either - a full grain tank was a big, big occasion and the Master would crack open a Coke.

I do a bit of stock work as well but a recent kick in the head from a Limousin sent me into orbit so I’ll give it a miss now.

Saturday mornings are me and Pippa’s favourite ‘cos we get all muddy walking the crops with Max and the Master and chasin’ anything that moves.

Comin’ back from Alfco the other day, we saw trees outside Lidl so it’ll be the Christmas soon and we always go with the Master to get a tree and then he does the stupidest thing and brings it into house.

Mrs P and Alison put flashin’ lights on it but I got into trouble last year when I cocked my leg under the feckin’ tree – isn’t that what trees are for?

Roast beef

We love Christmas ‘cos we’re allowed into the sitting room and we flitter all the paper and stretch out in front of the fire, stuffed with roast beef.

We’ve never had turkey but the Master says it’s the same as chicken. We’re happy too ‘cos the other two girls come home and we’re yappy with excitement to see them.

When the Master is in the office and tappin’ at his desk, I sleep under his chair.

He’s written a brilliant book called Till and the postman just delivered more boxes of them.

We hate the postman (and cats) and he hates us. And do us a favour, if you have a cat strangle it.

That’s the craic from me and Pippa, have a lazy Christmas and don’t forget to bring your family pet for long walks. And talk to him – he might even talk back…

Thanks Billy. As he says, Till is a super Christmas present and is available online or call Antonia’s Bookstore on 046 9437532. All profits to date have gone towards the work of UNICEF in Gaza.