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Dear Miriam,
My fiancé and I recently moved into our first home together. It has been a long road to this point, with a lot of frustration and a few disappointments along the way, but we are very proud to be home-owners. It’s an older house in an estate in our local town, but it’s quiet and central and I am confident we will be able to put our own stamp on it in time.
I was so taken aback I didn’t really know what to say to her
Naturally, I was very excited to have friends over once lockdown eased to show them our new place. Most people were very kind and happy for us, but one girl made a sort of comment along the lines of, “Oh, I really didn’t ever see you living somewhere like this”, as if it wasn’t up to her standards. I wouldn’t mind Miriam, but she still lives at home, with no prospect of moving out anytime soon!
To be fair, it’s not the first time she has passed that sort of remark
I was so taken aback I didn’t really know what to say to her, but it has really annoyed me. My fiancé says not to take any notice, and that it does not matter a damn what she thinks. To be fair, it’s not the first time she has passed that sort of remark, but I’d usually let it pass, rather than make a big deal of it. But this cut a little deeper and I’m still really annoyed about it.
Should I say something or just let it go?
Munster Reader
Dear Munster Reader,
First of all, congratulations on your new home. It is a huge achievement and I hope that you and your husband-to-be will be very happy there.
Regarding your friend, I often think there really is nothing as strange as folk! To be honest, I think it was quite a sour comment for her to make. You ask whether you should say something or not.
I think that if she is a genuine friend, she will take that on board and apologise
If it’s really bothering you – and you have left similar comments slide before – it might be worth mentioning to her that you were a bit upset by the comment, even if that was not her intention. I think that if she is a genuine friend, she will take that on board and apologise; if not, then I wonder if you really need such a person in your life in the long run?
At the end of the day, once you are content with your home, then that is all that really matters. I would not let her comment dampen your excitement or enthusiasm. Wishing you all the best.
The Dear Miriam column recently received a letter looking for information on dating apps (apart from Tinder) with an SAE enclosed for the response. Unfortunately, I’m not in a position to enter into private correspondence, so I won’t share the details in the letter here. But I did put some feelers out on social media to see what people might recommend, as I’m afraid I’m fairly out of touch with the dating scene myself!
Apparently, Bumble is the “app of the moment” and while it operates like Tinder with the like/swipe function, it differs in that female users make the first move and message after two people “match”.
Another suggestion that came up, however, was Hinge. This is billed as “the app for people who want to get off dating apps”. Users are encouraged to share more information about their dating preferences and personality traits in an effort to make more “meaningful matches”.
I’m a big believer in meeting people through shared interests eg sports clubs or an organisation like Macra
Apps aside, I do know of some people who have had success through dating agencies, and a quick Google search will turn up several options in Ireland.
On the page opposite, you will also find people looking for love through the Getting in Touch column. And personally, I’m a big believer in meeting people through shared interests eg sports clubs or an organisation like Macra, but obviously in this era of social distancing, such opportunities are a bit curtailed at present.
If any reader would like to give their own tips regarding dating, however, I’d be delighted to share them here.
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