Dear Miriam,

About six months ago, we were invited to a neighbour’s daughter’s wedding. My husband and I wrote what I would consider to be a “generous” cheque, which we dropped up to the house before the wedding, so that it would not get lost or misplaced on the day.

The wedding itself was a grand day out and we were happy to be there to wish the happy couple well. However, since then there has been no acknowledgement at all of the gift.

Maybe I’m old fashioned Miriam, but I would have thought that we might have received a little thank you card by now

I have bumped into this girl and her husband on a few occasions and despite talking about the wedding, the honeymoon etc, there has not been so much as a “thank you” for the cheque; which was promptly cashed a few days after the wedding, I might add!

Maybe I’m old fashioned Miriam, but I would have thought that we might have received a little thank you card by now. I’m half tempted to pass a comment next time I meet them. Good manners cost nothing; besides a postage stamp!

What do you think?

Annoyed Wedding Guest

Dear Annoyed Wedding Guest,

This would be a pet peeve of mine, if I am being completely honest. We were always brought up to say “thank you” whenever we received a gift and it does irritate me when people don’t send a little card or note to acknowledge a wedding present; especially when so much planning and attention probably went into sending the original invites!

But at the end of the day, it’s just that – a “peeve”.

And I don’t think it is really worth losing sleep over.

It’s not really worth falling out with the neighbours over

For all we know, the couple might be waiting for their wedding pictures to come back from their photographer to design their own thank you cards, or they might send something out with their Christmas post.

Some people even wait until their first anniversary to send out their acknowledgements. So the card might wing its way to you eventually.

Even if it doesn’t, though, I think it’s easier to “write it off”, rather than make any comment on the matter the next time you meet. It’s not really worth falling out with the neighbours over such a small thing, at the end of the day. Thanks for getting in touch.

There is no 'spark' with this guy; but should I give him a chance?

Dear Miriam,

A few weeks ago, I was out on Saturday night when I ended up chatting with this fella. He was not exactly my “type”, but it’s rare enough that men even approach women these days in pubs, so I said that I’d give him a chance. At the end of the night, he asked for my number and suggested meeting up. With a bit of nudging from my friends, I agreed.

He has suggested going away for a night, but I’m not really that keen

Since then, we have met up a few times for coffee or a drink and also gone to the cinema.

We’ve also kissed, but to be honest, I don’t really feel that “spark”. We don’t have a huge amount in common either. However, he is very nice and treats me well.

He has suggested going away for a night, but I’m not really that keen. My friends say that I should give it more time, but I don’t think it’s a lot to ask that you might be at least a bit attracted to a potential partner. What do you think?

Michelle, Munster

Dear Michelle,

I think that if you are asking me this question, then you probably already know the answer. I’m sure he is a very nice person, but if finding that spark is very important to you, it’s probably not fair on either of you to pursue this relationship much further; at least romantically.

So go with what your gut is telling you, but in a respectful way.

I know he may be disappointed and you might feel a bit awkward, but it’s probably the best

Rather than breaking it off over text message, maybe ask to meet for a coffee during the day somewhere and explain that while you think he is a very nice guy, you don’t see a future romantically together.

There’s no real need to go into much detail, but I suppose the lack of common interests could be an easier thing to focus on, than the lack of attraction. I know he may be disappointed and you might feel a bit awkward, but it’s probably the best – and kindest – approach in the long run.

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