Dear Miriam, I am an 18-year-old who is meant to be in Leaving Cert “exam mode”, but my problem is this: I am unmotivated and what should be the best year of my life is quickly becoming a heartache, with nothing but a fight to just get up in the morning.

I have no clue where I am going next year and honestly I’m OK with just waiting to see, but recently I’ve been experiencing panic attacks when I go out with my friends. It’s not fair on them that I keep ruining their nights and I am almost certain it has nothing got to do with my Leaving Cert itself, but I cannot figure out what they are about.

I was hoping you could help me or give me advice.

Yours sincerely, Lost Teenager

Dear Lost Teenager, the first thing to say is that you are not alone in how you feel. This is a time of change and as exciting as it is, it can also be scary. There’s this pressure on young people to have their life “sorted” at 18, but I assure you, the most interesting people I know certainly did not have it all sussed out by the time of their Leaving Cert. Most probably still don’t.

But you know what? Even the most carefully laid plans don’t always come to pass, so I think it’s a great gift to have a mind that is open to opportunity and taking time to explore the best option for you, rather than being set on one route and one route only. Life is a journey, and there is no shortage of roads we can take. So please, don’t be so hard on yourself.

I’ve spoken with Geraldine Mulpeter, a psychotherapist with MyMind, which provides fast and affordable access to counselling face-to-face and online. She agrees that this stage of life can be full of anxiety for any young person, with exams, college, leaving home etc. It’s a lot to take on and take in.

However, we can really only live day by day, moment by moment, and at the moment, your priority must be to take care of yourself through the exams. That includes simple things like eating and sleeping well, avoiding triggers like alcohol or coffee, getting fresh air and having a little treat every day, whether it’s a nice bath or your favourite meal. Sometimes when we are stressed we feel these things are a waste of time, but remember, you are worth this time and care and you will get through this.

It can also help to practise some breathing exercises. For example, place your hand on your tummy, take a deep breath in, hold until a count of five and then release. Repeat five times. It sounds simple, but it’s actually very powerful in bringing you back to the here and now when worries start to spiral.

Panic attacks are very common and can be linked with underlying anxiety. You say in your letter that you don’t think they are associated with the Leaving Cert, however, so it would be a good idea to seek a little extra support to help figure out what is going on. One of the most effective methods is cognitive behaviour therapy, which gets us to challenge our negative thinking patterns, as so often with anxiety, we worry about what will go wrong rather than focus on what will go right, causing us to panic.

If we recognise these patterns, however, we can develop coping techniques – such as breathing or relaxing – and become more empowered to handle panic when it strikes.

But it might also be helpful to speak with a counsellor or psychotherapist to explore your other concerns, like how it has become a fight to get out of bed and how life appears to be nothing but heartache.

Have these feelings just surfaced with the Leaving Cert, or have you experienced them before? Do you feel supported at home and in relationships?

Exploring these feelings in a safe and confidential environment should help get to the root of how you are feeling and what might be contributing to the attacks.

MyMind has centres in Dublin, Cork and Limerick, as well as offering online counselling. You can find out more on www.mymind.org or by calling 076-680 1060. Headstrong also provides support for 15- to 25-year-olds who feel stressed, down or anxious in their 10 Jigsaw centres nationwide (www.headstrong.ie/jigsaw), while Walk In My Shoes offers support for young people on 01-249 3555 or by emailing help@walkinmyshoes.ie. You can always contact Samaritans on 116 123.

I hope this advice is helpful and wish you luck in everything you do.?